2007 SPAM

October 2007 — In one of the weakest major fields ever assembled, Don Drehoff emerged as “the tallest midget” to win the 2007 SPAM and complete the overall BGA career “Grand Slam.”

Mark Chester, a three time SPAM winner and soon to be native of Colorado (based on being newly-evicted from Northern Virginian after losing his day worker rights), was given carte blanche to pick a field of players to celebrate his send-off. And instead of assembling a multitude of BGA players, thus mathmatically reducing his chance to win – he chose instead to focus on a smaller and less talented field, one which he knew he could beat: Don Drehoff, many years past any prime he might have ever had; Chuck Petrilla, the “BPNTHWABGAM;” and (name), a BGA rookie, playing in his first major, and only the 7th round of golf in his middle-aged life.

After choking once again on the TCP Sawgrass replica par-3 13th (have played Renditions probably 10 times and have NEVER hit that darn green in regulation), Drehoff got up and down with a nifty chip on the 14th to close out the championship early – which also included holing out from about 100 yds for birdie on the famous Augusta National 13th – and finished with an 84 to win. Chester, trying to keep the match close, while at the same time fighting a pronounced left to right ball flight (anything he ever learned from that female golf coach of his, at least wrt the golf swing, seemed to be a distant memory) – finished with a respectable 88. Petrilla, who actually got back in the mix and had a chance to win after parring the Sawgrass 13th, kept his title of Best Player Never To Have Won A BGA Major” by finishing with a 92. And the guy that Chester brought along, really good guy as a matter of fact, I think broke 100. In fact, if the weather had been a bit warmer and the course a bit dryer – he could have played without his oxygen tanks and walker, and might have broken 90.

Mark, you should be applauded for doing everything humanly possible to guarantee yourself a final major victory and 4th SPAM before your send-off. If only the golf gods had cooperated. Still, the dinner, drinks and fellowship after the round were both fun and memorable. Marko, keep in touch and let’s figure out a way to have some sort of major at the USAF Academy soon, ok (or another boondoggle to Bermuda? You will be missed by all!